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Let me say this about that.

The English language was quite useful for communication – that is until the Americans got hold of it.  You can’t really tell what something is just by the English name given to it.  Everyone has heard the old adage: “Why do Americans drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?”  But non-sensical Americanized names of people, places, and things  are all around us.

I used to own property near the small  western North Carolina town Andrews.  Andrews sits in a valley between two mountain ranges.  The valley is named the “River Valley” because of the river that runs through it.  The name of the river is the “Valley River.”  Apparently this part of Appalachia has fewer words in their vocabulary than the rest of America, so they must economize.

And speaking of geography, where exactly is…    the “Deep South”?  Does the term describe depth or direction?  If you go as far south as you can in the continental U.S., you find yourself in Key West.  And Key West, my friends, is about as opposite to the “South” as you can get.  This small island town is completely devoid of Bubbas, Rednecks, Crackers, Ridge Runners, or Hillbillies.  Outside San Francisco, Key West is host to the largest gay community in America, and BMWs out number pickup trucks ten to one.  How many gay, BMW driving, rednecks have you ever met?  So exactly where is the “Deep South”?

And why is North Carolina in the “South” and South Dakota in the “North”?

Sports is full of odd nomenclature.  For example, why are boxing matches held in a “boxing ring” when the “ring” is really a square?  In football, why is a ball that is kicked through a pair of posts called a “goal”  when the “goal” has already been achieved?  Before it’s done, it’s not a goal, but becomes a goal only after it’s accomplished.  Weird.

Baseball has names just as goofy.  If a batter swings at a pitch, and misses, it’s called a “strike” even though the batter did not “strike” the ball at all.  You can also “steal” a base, even though the base is never actually removed from the field of play.  I’ve actually seen a particular base stolen more than once in the same game because the first guy to steal it never took it anywhere.

The names given to people sometimes are the most curious.  I had a roommate my freshman year of college whose name was Alton Cherry.  He was the recipient of much grief from his buddies because of his effeminate sounding name.  There wasn’t much we could do with his family name, so we decided to help the young lad out by giving him a masculine sounding nickname.  And, as is the case with most college age males, we felt the need to demonstrate our high regard for social sensitivity.  So we nicknamed him “Buster”.   Good ‘ol Buster Cherry.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo