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Let me say this about that.

We homo sapiens are pretty proud of ourselves.  We’re at the top of the food chain, we are masters of our domain, and we have prehensile thumbs.  But, we are also self destructive bastards and are one of the few members of the animal kingdom that has no natural enemy other than ourselves.  In other words, we lack true virtue and nobility.

What then, would you say is the most noble animal?  What animal should we emulate in order to improve on our own species?  What animal should be our role model for the elevation of our virtue?

What about the DOG?   The dog – man’s best friend - creature of undying devotion and loyalty – rescuer of lost children – protector of police officers – security guard for the family.  Yes sir, the family dog is…    certainly a candidate for the most noble of animals.  But, dogs also pee on the rug, chew the upholstery off the couch and have a most unsettling habit of – on occasion – eating their own poop.  Sorry, the character flaws in the K9 genus just outweigh it’s redeeming qualities.

How about the CAT?  The common house cat is anything but common.  Cats are aloof – self confident – proud – independent.  No one can argue the cat is the personification of a majestic and noble animal.  The problem with cats is that they are absolutely worthless.

Fire Chief:  “What’s the sit-rep here Fireman?”

Fireman:  “Well Chief, the building collapsed with a few people still trapped inside.  The building is too unstable to send in a fire fighter to rescue them.  What do we do?”

Fire Chief:  “Quick man, bring in the Rescue Cats!”  

What about the HORSE?   Ah, the horse – elegant steed of the Sport of Kings -  dependable force of the prairie farmer’s plow share - courageous mount of the calvery - equine power plant for the homesteader’s covered wagon.  We could rhapsodize on about these majestic animals until we realize they have a brain the size of a walnut.  Mister Ed was little more than a ventriloquist dummy.  Horses are so famously stupid that people are always making fun of them:

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says:  “So why the long face?”

A blond, a redhead and a horse walk into a bar & the bartender says:  “What’s this,  some kinda joke?”

It’s impossible to be noble when you are constantly the butt of ‘stupid’ jokes.

I don’t want to appear overly biased, but my vote for the most noble animal would be:  The PIG:  You really have to be something special if you are butt-ugly and still have class and intelligence.  Don’t be fooled – pigs are smart.

First of all, it’s common knowledge that pigs invented mud wrestling.  Secondly, the vast majority of the Los Angeles police force is made up of pigs.  Plus you can keep them anywhere……pig in a poke – pig in a blanket – pig in a pen.  But my favorite thing about pigs is that PIGS CAN FLY !!!

Shambo:  “Honey, I’m gonna start this blog and one day become a famous writer!”

Mrs. Shambo:  “When pigs fly.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo