Shambo is working on another planet today, so please enjoy a “Classic LMSTAT”!

Let me say this about that.

OK.  I have a question.  Why do you need a license to have a dog, but you don’t need a license to have a kid?  Hmmmmmm.

Why are we even required to have a license for a dog?  The best answer I could find came from the San Francisco animal control website (check it out).  They list 5 reasons to license your dog.

1) If your dog gets lost, it’s the easiest way to reunite it with it’s owner.—- Forget the kid.  Despite U.S. Dept of Justice statistics (2002) that 797,500 kids go missing in the U.S. each year,  it’s the dogs that we’re really concered about.  However, from watching a few of these little rug-rats throw a hissy-fit in a restaurant last night,  I can see some wisdom here.   

2) Licensing insures your dog is getting proper vaccinations.—-  A law that requires medical care for kids?  Fa getta ’bout it.  Kids should…    grow up taking health risks.  It’ll prepare them for single’s bars.

3) License fees keep animal shelters going.—-  Apparently, in San Francisco, orphanages are funded through bake sales.

4) Your dog license shows that you are a responsible dog caregiver.—-  I love this one.  Any 16 year old,  crack-smoking,  high school drop-out,  can father a child with no legal requirements guiding this, apparently, frivolous undertaking.  But, In San Francisco, by God, you gotta show some responsibility to have a dog.

5)  It’s the law.—- Now that really says it all, doesn’t it? It makes no sense (especially taken in context of having a kid) but we must do it, simply because “it’s the law”.  In America, it seems that we have been so beaten down by stupidity that we have stopped thinking altogether.

I really don’t mean to pick on San Francisco, the whole country fits this model. There are stupid, misplaced laws everywhere.  In Ohio, you must have a hunting license to catch mice.  In parts of Florida, you need a license to skateboard.  But having kids?  Nah, our lawmakers are far too busy to care about that.

Some years ago, I lived in Oregon, an extremely liberal state, making California look like Alabama by comparison.  Oregon fishing regulations are very complex, and are neatly detailed in a book the size of the Warren Report.  Every fishing regulation is appended by the applicable regulation or exemption for handicapped persons.  Clam digging regulations are also included in this book, including an exemption for quadriplegics.  You can’t make this stuff up.

So, good citizens, avoid the $28 bucks San Francisco wants for an annual dog license. Have a kid instead…..or a cat, since there are no license rquirements for cats, either.  As I said, you can’t make this stuff up.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo