Ribbed Condoms

Let me say this about that.

It seems to me that there is nothing more un-American than something or someone that is given credit for excellence that is not based on actual performance.  It’s unjust.  It’s inequitable.  It’s prejudicial.  It’s malodorous.  It’s abhorrent.  And, it just pisses me off. 

Back last June, I wrote an article about the most overrated figure in professional sports – Dale Earnhardt Jr.  Earnhardt, Jr drives a stock car for, arguably the best team in NASCAR racing, Hendricks Motor Sports.  They have the best engineering, the best engine builders, the most lucrative corporate sponsors, and the top 3 drivers in the current point standings.  Of the 67 drivers that have started a NASCAR race in 2009, Hendricks Motorsports drivers own the top 3 positions in points - an incredible achievement.  Their fourth driver owns the 23rd spot.  That would be Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  In the last five years, 13 drivers have won more races than Dale Earnhardt, Jr. – a lot more.  To be charitable, he is simply…    not a very good driver.

NASCAR has a “Most Popular Driver” competition held each year.  Race fans vote for their favorite driver based on …… who the hell knows.  But one thing I can guarantee is that it’s not based on –  skill as a race driver, or race results.  Why?  Because Dale Earnhardt, Jr. has won this prize every year for the last 6 years and is leading for a 7th. 

Only two drivers have won the “Most Popular Driver” award more times than Earnhardt, Jr. - Bill Elliott, who won 44 races in his career and Richard Petty who won 200 races !!!  It has taken Dale Earnhardt, Jr. the last 5 years to win 3 races.  There is a 19 year old rookie driver on the NASCAR circuit this year that has more wins than Earnhardt, Jr. and sits #19 in points – 4 positions above Earnhardt, Jr., who has been on the circuit for 11 years.

Ask any NASCAR fan who is the best driver on the circuit.  Statistically, half of them will tell you that it is Dale Earnhardt, Jr.  This proves quantitatively, that there will never be a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. fan who wins the Noble Prize in mathematics – nor has a balanced checkbook – nor will be a serious contestant on “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.”

The injustice here is the 13 drivers who are not getting recognized for their hard-fought achievements, and whose skills are being overshadowed by a guy whose sole accomplishment is selling more hats than anyone else in the sport.

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. may be at the top of the “Most Overrrated”  list, but he is far from being alone.  So, to complete this ‘rant’, I have compiled a list of other overrated assholes that I feel need exposure to the bright light of day.  America, in our race to become the ‘new France’, has thousands of overrated, over-exposed crap, so I do not pretend that the following is a complete list.  But, these get my vote – send me yours:

10)  The Beatles

  9)  New York Restaurants

  8)  Soft Porn

  7)  Budweiser

   6)  Notre Dame Football

   5)  Barak Obama

   4)  Rap Music (?)

   3)  Caviar

   2)  Ribbed Condoms

   1)  Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo