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 Let me say this about that.

I have always found it interesting how people earn their living.  There are great jobs, crappy jobs, well paid jobs, volunteer jobs, temporary jobs, illegal jobs, any number of ways an average person can ‘pay-the-rent’.  So, in the interest of keeping the LMSTAT readership current on some of the more interesting new jobs, I conducted a series of interviews with your co-readers to keep you informed about the latest thing in the job market.

Wallpaper Peeler:  “That’s right, Shambo, I earn a living as a wallpaper peeler.  You know, some lady wants to replace that old wallpaper in her living room that was put up during the Harding Administration, but first, the old stuff has to come down.  And, it’s no easy task, I assure you.”

Shambo:  “I wouldn’t imagine it would be, with all that old glue and such.  Just how do you get the stuff off the walls?”

Wallpaper Peeler:  “It’s a proprietary process I developed myself.  Since I have a patent, I can disclose my trade secrets.”

Shambo:  “I’m all a-twitter.  Please go on.”

Wallpaper Peeler:  “Well, the first thing I do is make me up a big pot of heavely seasoned ‘goat-meat chili’ and drink a…    six-pack of Budweiser.  Then I eat a half dozen pickled eggs, close all the windows, and ………”

Shambo:  “Just stop right there, Hoss.  We get the picture.”

The next interviewee was thankfully a bit more technical.

Parachute Quality Control Technican:  “It’s true, Shambo, not everyone has the ‘stones’ for this job, if you get my meaning.  Me and my trusty assistant, Jose’ here, have been doing this job for six years.” 

Shambo:  “Sounds dangerous.  Do you actually jump out of airplanes to test the chutes?”

Parachute Tech:  “This is the way me and Jose’ getter-done.  We take the chute to be tested, hop on a small plane and taker up to 10,000 feet.” 

Shambo:  “And then you jump out of the plane?!?!”

Parachute Tech:  “Hell no,   I push Jose’ out.”

In today’s modern society, many people are discovering that folks living in the ‘Deep South’ are not the simple ‘bumkins’ they once thought they were.  Take the latest profession spreading through the South’s fried chicken restaurants:

Redneck Sommelier:  “When I first started working at Carl’s Chicken Shack, not many people knew what a ‘sommelier’ was.  I had to gradually get them to warm-up to the idea.”

Shambo:  “Sounds fascinating.  But I thought a sommelier was a guy that tested  wine  the customers ordered.  I did not know that wine was served here at Carl’s Chicken Shack.”

Redneck Sommelier:  “Correct-a-mundo, Shambo, beer is all we got.”

Shambo:  “So, exactly how does this work?”

Redneck Sommelier:  “Well, I bring the customer a beer, pour a little swig into my cup, and drink it down.  The customer asks me what I think and I tell’em  ‘Yep, it’s beer alright’.  Best damn job I ever had.”

There are many jobs available to the American workforce that simply did not exist a few years ago.  The economy, a new world order, new White House administration, all combine to create new opportunities, like the job of my last interviewee:

Mime Lyricist:  “Of course, Shambo, I know it’s a little tough to get your mind around at first, but I actually make a living writing lyrics for songs that mimes use in their act.”

Shambo:  “But, but….. I’m at a loss here. Mimes don’t speak.  Who would possibly pay you to do a job without any conceivable use?”

Mime Lyricist:  “Ever heard of Nancy Pelosi?”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo