Let me say this about that.

As is the case with all guys, I like hot cars and hot women.  But with my advanced age, minuscule savings account and marital status, I am relegated to simply ‘looking’ at both.  But as the man says: “Just because I’m on a diet, doesn’t mean I can’t look at the menu.”

Women and cars actually have a lot in common when it comes to achieving the status of “Hot”.  What makes one woman “Hot” and the next one “Not” is an abstruse, enigmatic, and mystical  mix of attributes that defy objective quantification.  Is it physical beauty?  Yes.  Charm?  Yes.  Personality?  Yes.  Charisma?  Yes.  Attitude?  All yeses.  But as hard as one tries to nail-down a quantitative definition, someone always seems to add another – valid – attribute.  Only one thing is certain.  Only guys have the innate skills to pronounce a woman as “Hot”.

With cars, it’s even more difficult to describe the “Hot” designation process.  But as with women, only guys have the congenital ability to do so.  Let me demonstrate by presenting the five hottest cars in the world.  They are not just the fastest nor the most expensive…    they are the “Hottest”.

SHAMBO’S LIST of the FIVE HOTTEST CARS IN THE WORLD:

Ford GT 40

5)  Ford GT 40:

The original Ford GT 40 was a car built in the mid ’60′s for the ’24 hours of Le Mans‘ race.  It was an all- American ass-kicker among an otherwise European field peppered with the mighty Ferrari’s of Italy.  It won the race four years in a row before it was retired.  In 2003, a street-legal version was introduced that looked almost identical to the race car of 40 years earlier – proving “Hot” is a timeless designation.  Ford produced 4,038 of these cars over a three year period that sold for a remarkably low price of $100,000 – considering the level of “Hot” you got. 

The street version features a 5.4 liter, 500 hp supercharged  V8 engine with 32 valves.  This mechanical ‘wet-dream’ can achieve 60 mph from a dead stop in 4.0 seconds – on the way to a top speed of 185 mph.

Audi R8

4)  Audi R8: 

The Germans have always produced some of the finest cars in the world – and Audi is one of the best.  Initially, Audis were slow to be accepted in the States, probably because their early years in the U.S. market were marked my plain, dumpy little vehicles that would lose a styling contest to a Ford Pinto.  But no more, brother.  Audi has entered the world of “Hot” with a number of it’s cars, and the one that leads the pack is the Audi R8.

The R8 conceals a Lamborghini-built 5.2 liter, V-10 power plant that produces 525 hp.  It’s six-speed transmission allows a top end of 196 mph and a 0 – 60 mph time of 3.9 seconds.  For this injection of adrenaline, write a check for $146,000. 

Ferrari Enzo

3)  Ferrari Enzo:

The Ferrari Enzo was named for, well, Enzo Ferrari, the founder of the company.  So, you can probably understand why the designers wanted to build a car that has the ‘WOW factor’ of  Miss Panama.  And boy, did they succeed.  To honor the father-of-Ferrari, they built the Enzo as if it were the last car they would ever built.  It’s front-end  styling hints of the design of their Formula-1 race cars made famous by Ferrari and his legendary drivers.  A large part of the Enzo’s “Hot” factor comes from the sound of the engine at high revs.  Short of a woman experiencing an orgasm, there is no sweeter sound in the world.

The Enzo is powered by a six liter, mid-ships V-12 engine that produces 660 hp.  From a dead stop to 60 mph takes all of 3.6 seconds.  If you can take the G-forces, grin your way to a top speed of 217 mph.  Only 399 Enzo’s exist and were sold by the factory for $625,000 per.  On the aftermarket, if you can find one for sale, you can spend well into 7 figures for a used one.

Porsche Gemballa Mirage GT

2)  Porsche Gemballa Mirage GT:

This screamer is built by German ‘tuner’ Gemballa Motorworks from a standard Porsche Carrera GT that produces a mere 612 horsepower straight from the factory.  Gemballa’s version takes the same 5.7 liter, V-10 engine and ups this to 1,000 hp.  A few hundred pounds of dead weight are also eliminated by the extensive use of carbon fiber.  What kind of performance can you expect from a carbon fiber based, 1000 horsepower car?  Something on the order of a space shuttle launch.

This beast will consume a mere 3.5 seconds to reach 100 mph from 0 mph.  Not enough adrenaline for you?  How about 0 to 200 mph in 8 seconds!!!  Only another heartbeat to the top end speed of 250 mph.  The Arab sheik that bought the first one paid $2,200,000.

Bugatti Veyron 16.4

1)  Bugatti Veyron 16.4:

Well guys, here it is.  The hottest car in the world – the Bugatti Veyron 16.4.  There are insufficient superlatives in the English language to describe this car.  I’ll just use one.  “HOT”.  How hot?  Let me start with the engine.  This ‘road-rocket’ is powered by an 8 liter, W-16 engine.  That’s right – 16 cylinders configured like two V-8 engines attached at the crankshaft, sorta like a mirror image – turning the “V” into a “W”.  Add four turbo chargers, 64 valves and you got yourself 1,020 ponies mid-ships in this fire-ball.  Open her up and you’re on your way to an ear-bleeding 253 mph top speed.  Acceleration?  How about 0 to 60 mph in 2.5 seconds.  That much power generates tremendous heat in all the car’s fluids and must be controlled with it’s 10 on-board radiators. 

Only 150 Veyron’s were made and sold for $1,700,000 each.  But the expense doesn’t stop there.  The Veyron’s tires are custom made by Michelin and cost $25,000/set.  But, you’ll need more than one set.  At top speed, the tires melt after 15 minutes.  But, don’t worry.  At these speeds, the 17 gallon fuel tank is empty after 12 minutes.

To those of you out there that doubt my qualifications to choose the five hottest cars in the world, allow me to present the most significant of my ample credentials – I’m a guy.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo