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Let me say this about that.

Yesterday, we attempted to establish some degree of parity with the annual publication of the U.S News & World Report’s Best Colleges in America by debuting the  Shambo’s Crappy College Awards.  The goal here is to give some of these poorly performing institutions an incentive to improve by taking away their ‘plausible deniability’.  Recall that in the post The Worst College Awards we started with colleges in the southern United States.  Today, we expand to other parts of the country and begin our criticism with the University of Notre Dame.

The University of Notre Dame is located in a small toxic waste dump called South Bend, Indiana.  Afghanistan refugees refuse to live there.  At this college, it is literally possible to get a four year liberal arts degree based on POTTERY!!  No, I’m not talking about “arts & crafts day” at summer camp when you were a kid.  I’m talking about going to a major university for four years and come out with what amounts to…    a bachelor’s degree in making bowls.  And it ain’t cheap.  The estimated expenses to attend Notre Dame this year amount to $38,477 – for one year!  What would you do with an “education” like this?

Police Chief:  “What’s going on here Officer?”

Police Officer:  “Well Chief, we got some nut job holed-up there in the clock tower with an AK47 and some dynamite threatening to blow up the joint.  I’m a little worried ’cause there are empty Red Bull cans everywhere.”

Chief:  “This calls for drastic action.  Go get that Notre Dame pottery guy immediately.”

Notre Dame Pottery Guy:  “Notre Dame Pottery Guy reporting as ordered Chief.”

Chief:  “For the love of God man, go up there in the tower and make this guy an ash tray or something – anything to calm him down.”

Notre Dame Pottery Guy:  “Get me a bucket of mud Chief, I’m goin’ in.”

Chief:  “His Momma must be so proud.”

While we are talking about Notre Dame I am duty bound to point out one of their newer degree programs – Women’s Studies.  I am a little confused.  I studied women the entirety of my college career and was not awarded a degree – what gives?  Plus, there is another problem that may not be so obvious.  What happens if you are a woman who graduates with a Woman’s Studies degree…….with a  C  average?

Just down the road a bit is a school with a pretty good reputation – The University of Chicago.  Good school, yes, but they have some pretty worthless degree programs.  Probably the most worthless is their Bachelor’s Degree in Egyptology.  Essentially this four years of study about crap that comes out of the ground in Egypt.  Nothing wrong with that, except it is taught in ILLINOIS!!!  Why is this not as stupid an idea as, say….a degree in Alabamaology from the University of Denmark?

Winston Churchill had this whole college thing figured out years ago.  Churchill said: 

“My education was only interrupted by my schooling.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo