Oct 6th
Posted by shambo  as Current Events, Economics, Government


Let me say this about that.

I, for one, believe the Obama administration is doing a bang-up job handling our economy.  Their methodology is so simple, it’s a wonder no past administration had ever thought of it.  The fundamental strategy is to give away money and “HOPE” that things will get better.  The qualification for getting some of this free money is basically the rejection of any sort of responsibility for ones’ own actions.  The banker screws-up, bail him out of trouble with free money.  The car manufacturer screws-up, bail him out with free money.  The insurance company and brokerage screws-up, bail them out with free money – and – give them a bonus.

And oh, about the bonus thing.  Obama explained that it was really retention bonuses paid out to prevent the best managers in those companies from leaving.  I think I got it……. pay a bonus to the leaders of the firm, that caused the problem in the first place, to stay a little longer so they can…    screw-up some more.  It’s so counter intuitive, it MUST be brilliant.

What’s more, there are more programs that the President will be implementing soon.  Through my many contacts in Washington, I have obtained a copy of a press release that will be sent out by the White House in a few days.  My LMSTAT readers are the first to see it:

“Today, President Obama is announcing a number of initiatives designed to spur employment and jump-start the economy.  These initiatives represent the output of the administration’s brightest thinkers and will employ leading edge technologies.  These initiatives are:

The New Orleans Subway System:  In the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, much-needed jobs will be created by building a subway system in New Orleans.  New technologies will need to be developed in that the city of New Orleans is four feet below sea level.  The current thinking is that the trains will have to be equipped with doors that open and shut VERY FAST, or the ridership will be limited to passengers over four feet tall.

The Tennessee River Desalination Plant:  Removing the salt from water taken from the Tennessee River represents the out-of-the-box thinking that characterizes the Obama administration.  The technology used to accomplish this task will be similar to a coffee filter – only bigger.

The Amish Automotive Research Center:  The President is especially proud of this initiative because it represents the pinnacle of technological challenge – the design of automotive equipment by people that have never owned cars.  Aborigine Bushmen may be called in to consult.

The Grand Canyon Interstate Highway System:  Road projects have always been a part of any infrastructure stimulus package.  With this program, the need for the use of rubber boats to transverse the bottom of the Grand Canyon will no longer hinder the American traveler.

The Salt Lake City Shiite Mosque:  The President has anticipated that local public support for this project may be less than enthusiastic.  So, in order to sustain equilibrium among the various religious organizations, The President has authorized a Mormon terrorist training camp in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

The MISSISSIPPI Vowel & Consonant Parity Act of 2009:  OK, this one is a little difficult to explain.  Fundamentally, the President is concerned that consonants are exerting undue influence on the English language – as evidenced by the spelling of the State of Mississippi.  He feels strongly that a multi-year program of increasing the number of vowels in the spelling of English words will somehow make us all better people.  Plus it will employ thousands of people with Liberal Arts degrees that are currently working in the fast food industry.

Atta-boy, Mr. President.  These new initiatives accurately reflect the same effective use of our tax dollars as your previous initiatives.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.



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