Dumb ideas

Nov 29th
Posted by shambo  as Animals, Current Events, engineers, Sports


Let me say this about that.

Question:  What happens when you mix good intentions with stupidity?   Answer:  A dumb idea. 

Dumb ideas abound in America,¬†in part because¬†we have a huge base of¬†good-intentioned people.¬† Regrettably, because we also have abandoned disciplining our children and¬†allowed¬†our education system to become little more than a¬†government run baby-sitting service, we also have a huge base of stupid people.¬† Good-intentioned people, who exit our schools with little useful knowledge, tend to gravitate to one of the thousands of government and private agencies who’s self-proclaimed mission is to “help” someone or something.¬† One such agency is PETA:¬† People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.¬† Decent folks with some pretty stupid ideas.¬† Let me give you an example.

The mascot of the University of Georgia is a pure bred white English Bulldog who’s name is an acronym for the university – “Uga”, pronounced ‘Uh-Guh’.¬† Since 1956, when the first Uga became the official mascot of the university,¬†direct descendants of the original¬†1956 dog – now referred to as ‘Uga I’ – have replaced¬†each previous generation as they died.¬† Regrettably, the most recent mascot,¬†Uga VII, ¬†passed away last week of congestive heart failure.¬† As a side note, the four year old dog had been given…¬†¬†¬† an examination by the University of Georgia Veterinary School, and was given a clean bill of health only a few days earlier¬†(reference the previous statement regarding the state of our education system – and a previous blog on the¬†¬†“Worst College Awards“).¬† Apparently Uga’s HMO did not allow him to select his own health services provider.

Due to the untimely expiration of the young ‘Uga VII’,¬† the selection of a new dog to become ‘Uga VIII’ may take some weeks.¬† Understandably, as this tradition has been in place longer than Alaska and Hawaii have been states, a great deal of ceremony, pomp and circumstance is involved in the selection.¬† But it seems PETA has a better idea.

A few days ago, a representative of PETA sent an e-mail to the University of Georgia Athletic Director suggesting that it was a good idea¬†NOT to replace the old mascot with another ‘live’ dog.¬† Instead, she suggested Uga VII be replaced by an “animatronic dog”.¬† In other words, a robotic “Rover”.¬† Never mind the¬†fact Uga mascots live a lifestyle¬†similar to¬†the King of Spain, the PETA representative felt that the cramped quarters on the jet in which the dog is ferried to ‘AWAY GAMES’¬† generated too much stress on the animal.

The engineering students at the bitterly hated in-state rival, Georgia Tech, immediately jumped on PETA’s idea and demanded that they be included on the ‘approved bidder’s list’ to design and build the robotic “Rover”.¬† The brainiacs¬†in the University of Georgia administration could not decide if the Georgia Tech engineers were being serious or not – owing to the fact that Tech is home to one of the best robotic research programs in the country.

I contacted the head of the PhD program at the Georgia Tech Robotics Center and asked for comments:

Shambo:¬† “So, Dr. Pudknocker, is it true that Georgia Tech is serious about developing a robotic ‘Uga VIII’ to replace a live dog?”

Dr. Pudknocker:¬† “Oh yes, we have some of our leading researchers working on it already.¬† But, as you may imagine, there are many technical challenges that must be overcome.”

Shambo:¬† “Technical challenges?¬† Like what?”

Dr. Pudknocker:¬† “Well, for one, we haven’t figured out a way to make a robotic dog lick his balls.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.





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