Assume the position!!

Let me say this about that.

The very fact that you are reading this blog indicates you have, at least, a modicum of skills regarding personal computers and the internet.  You may not, however, be so knowledgeable about the technical requirements of publishing a blog, creating content, editing and managing “HIT” statistics.  It’s not so difficult and after a few months of publications, it all goes pretty smoothly.

If your blog is to survive, you obviously want people to read it.  In order for that to happen, readers need to find the blog easily .  This happens in two ways.  First, a person has been made aware of a blog through conversation, referral, a friends recommendation or what have you.  This person then keys in the name of the blog and it is…    directly connected to – in this case –  “Let Me Say This About That”.  This registers on a statistical counter as a “HIT”.

The second way a blog generates readers (or “Hits”) is that a person enters a subject (in which they have an interest) into a search engine (like Google).  Google then searches the entire universe for published material that contains words in the query.

For example, if you entered the term “Let me say this about that”, Google would search all related words and return results for 192,000,000 (One Hundred and Ninety Two MILLION!) published entries that contain that phrase.  This blog  is entry # 5 out of those 192 million – not bad for a novice blogger like myself.  When you click on #5, you will be directed to this blog and the statistical counter registers another “HIT”.

Isn’t this interesting?  No?  OK, I’ll move on.

The reason I prepared this little “blog” tutorial for you is to further your understanding of the material I am about to share.  And this material is legally valid evidence that many of you who reach this “Let Me Say This About That” blog are criminally insane.  My evidence?  Turns out, my blog management software records the exact Google search phrase that led the reader to reach this blog. 

“Your Honor, I would like to place into evidence some of the ‘search terms’ that have led readers to the “Let Me Say This About That” blog.  The exhibits I will place into evidence will prove, conclusively, that most of the readers of this blog should be detained and held for psychiatric evaluation.  Your Honor, if it pleases the Court, I would like to submit into evidence, as Exhibit #1, the following search term:  “Easter Bunny Spanking”.

“Easter Bunny Spanking”.  Why would … how would … who would … even think up a term like “Easter Bunny Spanking”  and actively search for it on the internet?  The mental image is a little disturbing, even to an old pervert like me.  To try to understand why this term is even remotely of interest to anyone, I entered the term into the Google search engine and got 102,000 responses!!! ONE HUNDRED and TWO THOUSAND!!!  I searched through the first 100 articles and (happily) did not find this blog – yet Google led them to my door – somehow.  But it proves that there is an entire subculture of Easter Bunny Spankers out there and they are so thirsty for more information on the subject they are willing to read through hundreds of articles to get it.

“Your Honor, the second exhibit I would like to submit into evidence is the search term  “Dead Tooth Fairy”.

Apparently there is some controversy regarding the state of health of the Tooth Fairy, as a Google search of the term produced 1,400,000 responses.  Statistically, one could say there are 1.4 million people out there who are so passionate about the mortal status of the Tooth Fairy, they have taken the time to write an article about it.  Of course, there must be some flaw in the Google software that led the followers of the ‘dearly departed’ to my blog.

“Your Honor – please the Court – my final exhibit proving the criminal insanity of my readers.  The search term “Frog Sex Position”.

Now, I’ve been around and know a little bit about kinky sex (I was single in the ’60′s, you know), but must admit ignorance of the “Frog Position”.  Turns out, I’m ignorant about most ALL sex positions.  A Google search of the term returned 304,000 responses.  From this statistic, one could infer that there are 304,000 permutations of the so-called “Frog Position”.  But how Google led them to the “Let Me say This About That” blog is a secret buried in the bowels of the Google software development labs.

In the name of scientific research, I sampled a few of the responses returned to the “Frog Sex Position” search and got, well, an education.  There are websites out there in the blogosphere that specialize in sex positions – and demonstrate them with animated characters that look alot like the characters out of the movie “Avatar” – hundreds of positions!!  Allow me to share a few of the more notable:

Happy blogging.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo