Rambling Wreck from Georgia Tech

Let me say this about that.

A friend of mine happened upon an old copy of an entrance exam for the Georgia Institute of Technology (Georgia Tech) the other day.  He and I graduated together with bachelor’s degrees from this prestigious engineering institution, sometime shortly after the Civil War.  Just for fun, he took the exam again to see if he still ‘had-the-right-stuff’ and reported that he had passed with flying colors.  And, because this guy is a lifelong friend, he is constantly trying to find ways to make me suffer (sorry ladies –  it’s a guy thing, you wouldn’t understand), so he challenged me to do the same.

Now, as students, my friend (Mitch) was always the smart one.  If you could characterize college students by comparing them to a breed of dog, Mitch was a Border Collie – smart, intuitive, astute, bright, and intellectual.  On the other hand, my academic career could be compared to the attributes of a…    Rottweiler – tenacious, dogged, persistent, obstinate and unpolished.  What Mitch accomplished with brainpower and a sharp scalpel, I muddled through with audacity and a blunt instrument.

I knew I was going to struggle to make high marks on the entrance exam as Mitch had done, but a Rottweiler can never show fear.  I took the exam and was quite pleased with my efforts –  which I will proudly share with you now:

Georgia Tech Entrance Exam:

Question – Math:  “Define the term Coefficient.”

Answer:  “As efficient as the next guy.”

Question – Math:  “Define the term Monomial.”

Answer:  “An extra helping of Nomial.”

Question – History:  “How many voyages did Columbus make to America?”

Answer:  “Including the last one – all of them.”

Question – History:  “Name the original 13 States.”

Answer:  “The state of – Mind, Grace, Confusion, Emergency, Affairs, Readiness, Panic, Health, Fear, the Art, the Economy, the Union, and Kansas.”

Question – History:  “What was the Missouri Compromise ?”

Answer:  “We agreed to take Missouri if Mexico would let us have Texas.”

Question – History:  “Who first discovered the Pacific Ocean?”

Answer:  “The Hawaiians – DUH!!!”

Question: – History:  “Give the principle causes of the Mexican War of 1846.”

Answer:  “#1 – we were pissed-off at Mexico,  #2 – Mexico was pissed-off at us.”

Question – Grammar:  “What’s the difference between a Transitive and an Intransitive verb?”

Answer:  “A Transitive verb is of the masculine gender and describes the act of a guy dressing-up in women’s clothes.   An Intransitive verb describes the action of someone who is just confused.”

Question – Grammar:  “Construct a sentence showing a word can be used BOTH as an adjective and a noun.”

Answer:  “The bitch is HOT !!”

Question-Grammar:  “Give the feminine version of the following masculine nouns:  Author –  Stag –  Salesman.”

Answer:  “The feminine for Author is ‘Arleen’.  The feminine for Stag is ‘Date’.  The feminine for Salesman is ‘Customer’.”

Well, there you go, Mitch.  Who’s the ‘Man’ now?  I guess you have learned your lesson about messing with the ‘ol Rottweiler.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo