The Dreaded Purple Dragon

Let me say this about that.

Omar, a good friend of mine came by last week to borrow a set of tools.  When he walked into my house, he asked why I was wearing different colored socks.  I told him that it kept the purple dragons away. 

Omar:  “Shambo, you been smoking peyote again?  ……. wearing different colored socks keeps purple dragons away?”

Shambo:  “Correct-amundo.  And I have statistical proof that it works.”

Omar:  “Statistical proof?  That’s just stupid.  OK, smart guy, I’ll give you ten bucks if you can prove it.”

Shambo:  “Look around.  How many purple dragons do you see?  Just leave the ten bucks on the kitchen table.”

I’ll admit that Omar isn’t the highest head on the totem pole, but he has lots of…    company.  Most Americans have one trait in common – we are gullible.  Some more than others.  Take the entire population of Georgia, for example.  Most of the people residing in Georgia are terminally gullible – and I have statistical proof.  The proof?

If the population of Georgia were not totally gullible, there would be NO newspapers sold in the entire state.

In the METRO section of the Saturday, May 22, 2010 Atlanta Journal Constitution, a banner headline read:

“Swine Flu Vaccine Schedule A Worry”

The article bemoans the news that a fresh batch of H1N1 (swine) flu vaccine will not be available until after the start of the fall school year.  The newspaper recounts past flu pandemics that resulted in tens-of-thousands deaths and suggests that Georgia students may be in for a similar fate.

The author of this piece of yellow journalism, also builds on a study published in August, 2009 by “The President’s Council of Advisers on Science and Technology” that predicts between 30,000 and 90,000 deaths this year in the United States due to swine flu. 

We taxpayers are actually paying these assholes for this information.

That prediction is the mathematical equivalent of predicting that you will die sometime between the ages of 30 and 90.  Ya think?

The Atlanta newspaper article reports the news that a total of 80 Georgians died last year from complications of swine flu.  Sure this is bad, but this revelation is made to sound horrifying until a simple modicum of research uncovers the fact that an average of 5,829 Georgians die annually from your plain old, garden variety seasonal flu.

The Fulton County Department of Health and Wellness has released a news brief announcing that it will charge Georgia citizens only $25 for a flu shot aimed at reducing the odds of contracting swine flu …….. the mathematical equivalent of selling a pair of mismatched of socks for $25 to ward off purple dragons.

Rather than publish stupid articles about non-existent threats, who’s real purpose is to sell newspapers, I would much prefer to read an article entitled:

“Common Sense Outlawed in the State of Georgia.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo