photobucket

Let me say this about that.

If you have ever clicked on “About” in the upper left-hand corner of this blog, you know that I have spent a lot of time outside the United States and even took up residency in a few of these countries.  I had an opportunity to learn different cultures that can only be acheived by actually living in a foreign country.  There was one  experience however, that was totally unexpected.  Living in other countries gave me a whole new perspective on America.

I never realized it before but, when dressed informally, Americans are basically walking billboards.  Go to your closet right now and see if…    you can find a T-shirt that doesn’t have something written on it – a company name, the manufacturer’s trademark, a college logo, an athlete’s number, a quip that describes your outlook on a particular subject, or whatever.  T-shirts with nothing written on them don’t exist in America.

Young women seem to wear the most provocative T-shirts.  I remember a gorgeous and buxom twenty-something strolling poolside at a resort in the Florida Keys a while back.  Covering her bikini top was a T-shirt that read: “You can’t be first, but you might be next”.  (Note to President Obama…..now there is a message of “HOPE”).

Then there was the heavily tattooed biker dude in a bar in Galveston, Texas, chasing shots of tequila with Lone Star beer.  He wore a T-shirt that read: “Bob’s Body Art – Tattoos While You Wait” .  It just got me to wondering about the other options.

I saw a young Latina hottie at Disney World a few summers back that sported a skin tight T-shirt with a picture on the front of one of those retractable tape measures (like carpenters use).  The tape was pulled out to the eight inch mark and the caption below the picture read: “You must be this tall to enjoy this ride”.

I don’t know if Sarah Palin would have made a good Vice President or not, but she was a lot more fun to look at that Joe Biden.  Frankly, I don ‘t recall a word the woman ever said because I was too busy staring at the stuffing in those double D cups of hers…..hey, I’m a guy.  There was a picture of Palin taken during her college days wearing a T-shirt that read: “I may be broke, but I’m not flat busted“.  Who said politicians never tell the truth?

Every now and again, I find a piece of advice that I can actually use from one of you “walking billboards”.  A guy I ran into in a sporting goods store was wearing a T-shirt with a piece of wisdom that can serve us all.  It read:  “If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving is probably not for you.”  Amen brother!

Then there is the whole genre’ of health “support group” T-shirts.  I recall two in particular.  One in support of dyslexics that read:“Dyslexics are teople poo”.  Another touted support for mental health AND alcholism that read: “I’d rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy”. 

Support  group T-shirts are not just limited to medical causes, of course.  I was having a drink with a pal at a local waterfront bar when a big bouncer type muscleman walked in wearing a sleeveless T-shirt with a picture of a stripper dancing around a pole….. and a message of encouragement: “I support single Moms — one dollar at a time”.  (Note to President Obama:  “Yes we can”).

And, that is all I have to say about that.

Shambo