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Let me say this about that.

You may have heard the story about Winston Churchill coming to Washington in the early days of World War II.  The purpose of his trip was to request America’s help in fighting Nazi Germany.  At the end of the first day’s negotiation, President Roosevelt invited Churchill to have dinner with his wife Eleanor and himself.  Churchill, who had a reputation as being a bit of a tippler, showed-up drunk as a lord.  Mrs. Roosevelt, a complete teetotaller, pointed her finger at England’s Prime Minister and screeched:  “Sir, you are drunk!”  Churchill calmly replied:  “I am indeed, Madam, and you are ugly.  But, in the morning, I will be sober, and you will still be ugly.”  Probably fictional, but I love that story anyway.

Most folks love a good squelch, especially when it targets a…    pompous blowhard.  I, too, am a fan, even when it comes at my own expense.

A few years ago, I was visiting family in North Carolina.  One morning, my uncle and I were talking at his kitchen table about how both of us earned a living.   At the time, he was tending the animals on his son’s hog farm and he gave me a number of insights on animal husbandry.  He asked about my job and I told him I was an engineering consultant.  He replied that he was aware of that, but was curious as to, exactly, what I did every day.  I droned on for twenty minutes about how corporations got into trouble, how I performed systems analysis, established goals, set performance metrics, and advised management on more efficient methodologies.  I asked my uncle if he understood.  He looked me square in the eye and replied: “Yeah, I think so.  You got one of them talking jobs.”

Articulate, no  –  accurate, yes.

Back in the early days, my buddies and I used to hang out at a singles bar in Atlanta called the Brave Falcon Lounge.  Players for Atlanta’s baseball and football teams also hung out there (thus the name of the place) and the girls followed.  As they say in the military, it was a “target-rich ” environment.  One night, I overheard  a conversation as a drunk approached a particularly attractive young lady and tried out his best pick-up line:  “Baby, I would love to get in your pants”.  The young woman, obviously having heard this one before, leaned over and whispered in his ear: “I’ve already got one asshole in there, why would I want another one?”

Sometimes a good squelch can be preemptive.  There is a hardware store not far from my house, and at the checkout counter, they have one of those little cups containing  a few pennies.  The idea, of course, is for the customers to take – or – donate pennies to keep from breaking dollar bills.  In this store there is a little sign next to the penny cup that reads: “If you need a penny, get a penny.  If you need two pennies, get two pennies.  If you need three pennies, get a job!”  Jeez, I wish I’d said that.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo