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Let me say this about that.

In my post on July 19 entitled  “Pharmaceutical Ads” , I suggested that pharmaceutical companies were making up new diseases just to sell their drugs.  Since that post, I have been inundated with rebuttals by my loyal readership claiming that I have not done sufficient research into the subject.  To prove their point, they have submitted numerous examples of  new medical conditions not fully recognized until recently.

Jeffery from Portland,  writes that his wife has the worst case of ‘Bubble Butt’ he has ever seen, although she passes it off as a mild outbreak of  ‘Sweet Cheeks’.  Jeff complains:

“It started out as a simple case of ‘Split Ends’ but I’m afraid she’s headed for a serious case of ‘Horse’s Ass’.  I called our doctor and he said that, without treatment, her condition could eventually lead to a serious case of ‘Smoking Crack’.”

Jeff’s doctor recommended…    daily treatment with a pharmaceutical solution known as “Ass-N-Nine”, even though I think that idea is……well, you get my point.

Horace from Oklahoma City, e-mailed that he was suffering from an illness known as ‘Cat Gut’.  Unfortunately, his condition has begun to degrade into acute ‘Beer Belly’.  Horace was prescribed massive doses of estrogen to combat his condition, but is worried about the side effects of ‘Pantie Waist’ and ‘Lilly Liver’.

Then there is Bambi.  I met Bambi in a strip club in Tupelo a few years ago.  I must have had a mild case of ‘Sheet Face’ that night because I gave her my phone number.  Bambi called to comment on the July 19 blog and asked if I remembered her showing me her ‘Thunder Thighs’.  I did indeed and asked if she still planned to get implanted ‘Turkey Breasts’.  She replied that her doctor preferred to wait until he finished her treatment for ‘Potty Mouth’.  She also told me her boyfriend had given her a case of the ‘Evil Eye’.  I told her not to worry because, worse case, that could only led to chronic ‘Hare Brain’, which she already has.

Maurice from Pocatelo has sage advice for all you youngsters out there. Let him tell you his story in his own words:

“Shambo, I was addicted to ‘Sperm Oil” for years.  I was young and didn’t fully understand the dangers.  Soon, I began to develop mild outbreaks of ‘Softball’.  Before you know it, I was plagued with acute ‘Beer Nuts’.  But my story has a happy ending.  After repeated applications of ‘Deep Throat’, I am now in remission.”

Betty Sue from Pensacola, wrote to offer a drug-free treatment for Maurice’s condition. It’s a complex procedure and takes some practice, but she describes it  as being similar to the ‘HimLick Manuever’.

Well, I’m now convinced that I was wrong about the existence of all these new medical problems.  I would like to continue my report, but I feel an attack coming on of  ‘Premature Imagination.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo