Smart Guy

Let me say this about that.

Did you ever stop to think what series of decisions led to where you are today?  I don’t mean just geographically, but how you wound up in the job, the profession, the career in which you currently find yourself.  I would wager that almost none of us actually planned the precise position that we currently occupy in the workplace.  Although much has been written about career interests being solidified during our childhood and adolescence, few of us actually spend the time to analyze how our formative experiences led to the jobs that we occupy today.

Sometimes, it ain’t pretty.

In 1972, America was entering a deep recession.  I was working in Cape Canaveral during the wind-down phase of the space program.  It was a hard job, loads of pressure, long hours and much stress.  The stress of meeting launch dates without blowing up…    (more…)

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Let me say this about that.

I really enjoy going on vacation and staying with friends.  I travelled so much during my working years that I have come to completely loath hotels.  Given a choice between a five star hotel and a buddy’s hunting shack, I’ll take the shack every time.  There is a level of comfort that you get at a friend’s place that is impossible to achieve at a hotel.  The atmosphere is friendlier.  The food is better.  The beer is colder.  And, your wife has someone to occupy her time while you and your buddy watch the big game. 

But, there is a dark side to visiting a friend’s home ….. especially if you are a guy.  Once it becomes firm that company is coming for a visit and will be staying over for a few days, all wives contract a horrible condition called…    (more…)

Hussong's Cantina, Ensenada, Mexico

Let me say this about that.

Well, dear LMSTAT readers, this marks the end of the week-long miniseries on The World’s Sleaziest Bars.  The four that have been featured so far are truly world class…you have the word of a recognized sleazy bar aficionado.  Unfortunately, unless I start another blog on this subject alone, I must end this miniseries and move on to other subjects.  However, I will close by awarding a couple of “Honorable Mentions”.

Be advised, these are real establishments and are posted here under their real names.  If you would like additional detailed information on how to find them, just send me a note by clicking on the “LEAVE A REPLY”  at the end of this posting.  Excluded, of course, are the bars that are no longer in business (as far as I know) such as “The Compleate Angler:  in Bimini.

“Harry’s New York Bar”- Paris, France

This was another of the many haunts of Earnest Hemmingway. Apparently he and I had similar tastes in bars. I was there on the 50th anniversary of “D-Day”.  My wife and I were the only non-locals in this dark, dank, ancient and smelly watering hole, filled with old WW II French soldiers and resistance fighters.  The French have a reputation for being snarly, but on that day, the old soldiers would not let these Americans pay for anything.  Thanks, guys, I’ll never forget it.

“Papa Joe’s” – Islamorada, Florida, USA: 

You may have noticed that this is the first bar recognized as being a ‘world-class’ sleazy bar located in…    (more…)

Singapore bar district

Let me say this about that.

Part of what makes a great sleazy bar is the cross-cultural, mixed bag, mongrel ethnicity of it’s patrons.  It is, at the same time, the best and worst examples of the human species.  If it is true that the patrons of “Genevieve’s Bar” in Singapore were made in God’s own image, then judgement day is going to be a really interesting affair.

Singapore is a small “city – state” island on the South China Sea, tucked neatly between Indonesia and Malaysia.  It’s population is about equally divided among three ethnic groups – Chinese, Malay, and Indian.  It’s a civilized, friendly, safe, and progressive place to live and work, but it’s also a place that loves to party.  It may also surprise you to learn that…    (more…)

Bierhalle Wolf

Let me say this about that.

Someone once said that: “Old bars never die, they just smell that way.”  But, lets be honest.  Which would you prefer …….. the dank, musty smell of an old sleazy bar, or of say, a dentist office?  That’s what I thought.

There is one sleazy bar, however, that may never die.  And like most true institutions in Europe, it measures it’s age in centuries.  So, aficionado’s of sleazy bars, I give you the “Bierhalle Wolf”.  As I am one of the world’s recognized experts on sleazy  bars, I can certify that this is one of the planet’s greatest.  “Bierhalle Wolf” is located on the banks of the Limmat River, just down stream from the lake in the old town section of Zurich, Switzerland.  No one remembers how long this bar has been in this building, but I saw a cornerstone in the basement, where the ‘johns’ are located, with the date 1387….over 100 years before Columbus discovered America!

Before you could understand the reasons for this bar’s appeal, you must know a little about Zurich.  When I started working there in the 80′s, Zurich was one of the most…    (more…)

Compleat Angler

Let me say this about that.

With apologies to Humphrey Bogart “Of all the bars in all the world …… ” give me the sleazy ones  (that last part was mine).  Sleazy bars are home to a rare breed of animal that is comfortable with who they are, have no desire to change their station in life, good or bad, and are some of the most real people God ever put on this good earth.  Sitting on adjacent bar stools in these establishments are millionaires, crooks, bums, homeless, movie stars, fishermen, politicians, and all manner of folk famous and infamous.  But in a great sleazy bar, you can’t tell one from another.   Such a place was The Compleat  Angler  located on Bimini Island in the Bahamas.

Unlike it’s neighbor a few yards down the road, The End of The World Saloon, whose charm lies in it’s total lack of any redeeming attributes,  The Compleat Angler had a deeply colorful and rich history.  I say ‘had’  because…    (more…)

Stewart at The End of the World

[AUTHOR’S NOTE:  This post is the first of five in this week’s miniseries on the ‘World’s Sleaziest Bars’.]

Let me say this about that.

I love sleazy bars.  The people you meet in sleazy bars are unemcumbered by any pretension which allows you to immediately find the soul of a place.  There are many classic sleazy bars around the world, although most of the really great ones are outside the U.S.  My favorite is in the tiny village of Alicetown, on the island of North Bimini in the Bahamas, called The End of the World Saloon. 

The End of the World can generously be described as a ‘dump’.  It’s basically a small waterfront shack whose ‘bar’ is a large wooden ship’s door, stretched across two rum barrels.  Chloe, the bartender, is a jolly…    (more…)

Shambo is working on another planet today, so please enjoy a “Classic LMSTAT”!

Let me say this about that.

OK.  I have a question.  Why do you need a license to have a dog, but you don’t need a license to have a kid?  Hmmmmmm.

Why are we even required to have a license for a dog?  The best answer I could find came from the San Francisco animal control website (check it out).  They list 5 reasons to license your dog.

1) If your dog gets lost, it’s the easiest way to reunite it with it’s owner.—- Forget the kid.  Despite U.S. Dept of Justice statistics (2002) that 797,500 kids go missing in the U.S. each year,  it’s the dogs that we’re really concered about.  However, from watching a few of these little rug-rats throw a hissy-fit in a restaurant last night,  I can see some wisdom here.   

2) Licensing insures your dog is getting proper vaccinations.—-  A law that requires medical care for kids?  Fa getta ’bout it.  Kids should…    (more…)

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Let me say this about that.

When I first decided to do this blog, my friends advised me to ‘write about things you know’.  Sounded like good advise to me, so I pondered a few days on numerous subjects upon which I fancied myself an expert.  Engineering, mathematics and logistics were certainly a possibility as I had made my living in these areas for thirty-five years.  Business ‘turnarounds’ and international systems integration were also innovations in which I had prospered.  I consulted my spouse of many years as to which of these topics my background might provide the most credibility, veracity, and rectitude, and which would provide an ideal basis for my blog.  Her response was…    (more…)

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Let me say this about that.

I hate to complain, but isn’t life complicated enough without all the worthless crap we’re exposed to every day?  How many of us have experienced the annoying sound of a car alarm blasting away with no one lifting a finger to investigate?  Has there EVER been a car alarm that has actually attracted a cop?  Car alarms are like Kryptonite to cops. 

And what about airline safety cards?  You know, those little plasticized cards stuck into the back-of-the-seat pockets on airplanes that advise you what to do in case of an emergency.  The instructions on these cards are full of ‘airline-speak’ such as “water landing” and “unlikely events”.  I don’t know about you, but if I’m on a plane about to crash, doing a little light reading is…    (more…)