Americans will believe anything

Aug 16th
Posted by shambo  as Culture, Religion, Sports


Let me say this about that.

It is the nature of human beings to want to have an explanation for everything – and this character flaw is especially pronounced in America.  I suppose the rationale for this bit of arrogance is that we are at the top of the food chain and SHOULD understand the root cause of every phenomenon in our lives.  Perhaps this is the reason that – when we don’t understand something – we just make up an explanation.

This should not be surprising as we are taught to do this from childhood:

Mom:  “Johnny, did you break that lamp?”

Johnny:  “Uh, uh…….no Mom.”

Mom:  “Well,  who did?”

Johnny:  “The dog broke it.”

Mom:  “You don’t have a dog.”

Johnny:  “Yes I do – but he’s invisible.”

How ’bout this one.  A couple of guys at “The Bar” were talking about Michael Vick’s recent release from prison and new contract with the Philadelphia Eagles.  The central question was…    whether – or not – Vick’s public contrition about his illegal dog fighting ring was genuine.  I mean, is this really a serious question?  I believe Vick is genuine in his continuous apology – but not for fighting dogs.  Could it possibly be about the $8 million a year he lost while he sat on his keister in a Virginia prison? 

Dogs…..$8 million?    Dogs…..$8 million?    Dogs…..$8 million?

Dogs?  Americans will believe anything. 

“I did not have sex with that woman.”

These are the most remembered eight words ever uttered by a U.S. president.  And, everyone in the country actually believed ‘ol Billy, with the possible exception of Hillary.  When finally confronted with DNA evidence lifted off a semen stain from Monica Lewinsky’s dress, ‘Slick Willy’ explained that it was not actual sex, it was ‘oral sex’.

Note to Bill Clinton:  Billy, it’s called oral sex because when you have oral sex  it’s oral SEX !!!

Blow jobs aren’t sex?  Americans will believe anything.

There was an article published by the ‘Religion News Service’ last week that reported the results of their latest survey.  The survey reported that only 59% of Americans believe in the existence of Hell, while 74% of Americans believe in the existence of Heaven. 

Excuse me!?!?  Though it may not stand up to rigorous mathematical scrutiny, this suggests that 15% of Americans believe there is a Heaven….but no Hell.  I’m convinced that this posture was the model used for Barack Obama’s economic policy…….but I digress.

Saint Peter:  “OK  Alfonso, welcome to Judgement Day.  Looks like you have been a very bad boy.  ‘Sez here in The Book you have committed the sins of …….a)  watching Scooby-Doo reruns,  b)  masturbating to pictures of Janet Reno,  c)  and being a University of Georgia football fan.  How do you plead?”

Alfonso:  “I never watched Scooby-Doo reruns!!”

Saint Peter:  “Alfonso, you are hereby declared a ‘Sinner’ and must be punished.  But since there apparently is no Hell anymore, just go stand in the corner for a while.”

Go ahead – do any vile thing you want to.  There are no consequences. 

Americans will believe anything.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.







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