Good advice

Oct 11th
Posted by shambo  as Aging, Culture, Language
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Let me say this about that.

As a young man, I was always interested in hearing the advice of my elders.  I figured that if they lived to be that old, they must know a few things, otherwise they would not have lived long enough to be…….well, old.  I did not always heed this advice, at my own peril most of the time, but I always was glad to hear the old folk’s perspective.  Much of this advice must be tempered by understanding the perspective of the person giving it.  For example;

“If it ain’t broke, improve it.”

I learned this philosophy by spending half a decade in the best Systems Engineering schools in the country.  So, it’s not surprising that the credibility of the advice is unquestioned and I made my living for 35 years doing just that…improving things.

But sometimes I got advice from folks that did not have the veracity of the first example. This gem came from my grandmother who never went to high school, much less graduated:

“Never go near the water until you learn how to swim.”

I had an uncle who was perpetually in trouble with any sort of authority figure, including the police.  He taught me something that saved…    my bacon the first time I got stopped by the police for DUI.  It also came in handy everytime I thought I had something clever to say. Out of the need to maintain some degree of class in this blog, I have modified the advice a  little:

“Never pass up a chance to ‘Fut-The-Shuck-Up’.  “

My grandfather was a pretty smart guy, in a simple, down-to-earth kind of way.  He gave me some advice once that never made too much sense until I got into my sixties.  Today, it makes all the sense in the world. To wit:

“Once a King, always a King.  But, once a Knight is enough.”

In 2003, I was elected to the City Council of the small village in which I still live.  I had never been directly involved in the public sector, I had recently retired from the private sector, so I said ‘What the Hell’, I’ll give it a try.  Big mistake.  I have never experienced so many people speaking about so many subjects with so little knowledge in my life.  Doing anything constructive was fought tooth-and-nail by local politicians just to hear the sound of their own voice.  I preserved my sanity by heeding the advice of George Bernard Shaw:

“Never fight with pigs because you will get dirty.  And, the pigs like it.”

Most guys find it unnecessary to stop and ask for directions when they become lost or can’t find a place they want to go.  I count myself among this brotherhood.  This drives my wife to complete distraction.  But when she complains, I  repeat the advice I got some years ago from an old drunk sitting in a Mexican bar:

“Never stop and ask directions.  You’ll just be late getting to a place you don’t want to go.”

Yeah, I’m still working on that one myself.  The next temporal pearl of wisdom came from the same uncle that was referenced earlier.  Now, the LMSTAT lady readers might recoil at this advice, but just remember it came from a man of the street.  I only repeat it here to illustrate the eclectic nature of advice you receive from your elders. My uncle’s advice pertained to dating women:

“Women are like dog turds.  The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.”

And finally, a bit of wisdom from a great leader of men who was my mentor:

“Life is a lot like dog sled racing.  Only the lead dog gets a change of scenery.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo

 

 

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