Dec 9th
Posted by shambo  as Current Events, History


Let me say this about that.

For those of you who perpetually don’t pay attention, you probably have not been caught up in the recent interest in the year 2012.   2012 is the year that the world is coming to an end – December 21, 2012, to be exact.  Now this is not a date picked by some crack sniffing druggie or religious whack job carrying a “The End Is Near” sign on the street corner.  This is a date well known to historians as the end of the ‘Mayan Calender’.  Yep, the Mayans, an ancient civilization known for their intellect, craftsmanship, language and laws had their own calendar.  That calendar was very precise and served the Mayans well for thousands of years.  But the real interesting part about the calender is that the dates went no further that December 21, 2012.  Apparently the Mayans believed that this marked the end of it all.

End of Days, the Apocalypse, Dooms Day, The End of the World, Armageddon, Bend Over and Kiss Your Sweet Ass Goodby, Babee !!!.

Scholars who supposedly research such things believe that the heavenly bodies will align in such a way as to cause the annihilation of the Earth, and all of us beautiful people who live here.  This event, they claim, is part of a…    cycle that repeats itself every 26,000 years, with the next cycle ending on – December 21, 2012.

As of today, John Q. Public has little opinion regarding 2012, other than it’s the name of a really cool sci-fi movie released a few weeks ago.  Great special effects of the world coming to an end, by the way.  You might imagine that the end of the world gives cinematographers the ultimate story line with which to blow stuff up.

But, is it really science fiction or were the Mayans correct?  My crack research staff has been looking into the matter and have convinced me that December 21, 2012 will indeed mark the end of the world.  In fact, there are a number of ‘ people-in-the-know’ who have already begun changing their lives in preparation for their final 3 years on Earth.  I give you the evidence that has been passed on to me:

Barack Obama:  Now here is a guy who believes he has been downtrodden all his life and now has the chance to do something he has always wanted to do – give away a trillion dollars!!  No way is that money going to be paid back.  But who cares – the end of the world is coming.

Tiger Woods:  ‘Mr. Clean Jeans’ has got the inside track on 2012 and is wasting no time in sleeping with every ‘Barbie Doll’ lookalike on the planet.  But can he blow his $1 billion stash on bar maids and strippers before time is up?  Don’t know, but it appears he’s gonna give it a go.  Watch out for the wife’s 3-iron, Tiger.

Angelina Jolie:  Forget adopting poor abandoned African babies.  With a scant 36 months to go, Angelina has just adopted Africa.

Notre Dame Football Team:  This team is so bad that it would do anything to prop up it’s TV ratings.  But, even though the ‘Fighting Irish’ were invited to play in the “Bubba’s Bait & Tackle Bowl”, they declined.  Why?  Why bother – the end of the world and all that.

France:  The French have begun to be polite to Americans.  Apparently they believe the U.S. might show up at the last minute and save their sorry ass like we did in WWII.  Sorry France, you’re gonna be ‘French Fries’ soon.

And finally, the most conclusive evidence yet that the end of the world is at hand.  Mrs. Shambo has unblocked the cable TV porno channel.  WOO-HOO !!!

And, that’s all I have to say about that.






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