New political party

Apr 8th
Posted by shambo  as Current Events, Government, Politics

 Let me say this about that.

I think many (if not most) Americans have pretty much had-it with our current political system.¬† Whatever the Democrats and Republicans are doing in Washington sure as hell is not about helping me.¬† My view is that if the entire Congress¬†would just go home and find a job mowing lawns, we would all be better off (except maybe¬†a couple of hundred Mexicans).¬† The “Two-Party System”¬† is hopelessly broken and worse, is hopelessly irreparable.¬† If you have not figured it out already, I hate both political parties.¬† We need something new.¬† We need something that works.¬† We need real leadership.¬†¬†In summary, we need¬†a totally new political party.¬†

New political parties have been tried a few times in the past.¬† The “Green Party touted environmental issues.¬† Then there was the “Libertarian Party”¬† whose position I was never quiet¬†able to decipher.¬† Ross Perot founded the “Reform Party which was sort of a mini-Republican party on steroids.¬†

Currently, there is the new “Tea Party”¬† which is a little more centrist-oriented than some of the earlier attempts, but lacks a real leader¬†or spokesman.¬† It appears to me that the ‘acting-leader’ of this party is Sarah Palin, but for no other reason than she has a great pair of tits.¬† However, in today’s world of organized political parties, this is a rare example of logic.¬†

Political leadership in America

I kinda like all the new political parties, but not for any particular ideological reason.¬† I like them because they continually pick at the scab that covers the puss-filled world of¬†a Congress made up of¬†Democrats and Republicans.¬† However, try as they might, no new political party has ever gained sufficient clout to be a real power in the United States.¬† I think the reason is that they have not addressed the real issues in America, have not expressed the real problems in “non-politically correct terms”¬†, and have not embraced ‘Common Sense’ as a fundamental platform.¬† Therefore, in order to remedy this shortcoming…¬†¬†¬† I am going to start a new political party¬†myself.¬† I offer this transcript of a recent news conference:

Shambo:¬† “Ladies and gentlemen of the press, please be seated.¬† Today, I am announcing the formation of a new political party whose ideological platform is the simple application of¬†¬†“Common Sense”.¬† I know all of you have read the ‘pre-press’ release so I will open the floor for questions.”

Reporter:¬† “Mr. Shambo, Gaye Barr, Washington Post.¬† What is the name of your new Party?”

Shambo:¬† “Gaye, we are called the “Getur Hedoutta Urazz Party.”

Reporter:¬† “Mr. Shambo, Harden Thicke, Playboy Magazine.¬† If your party takes control of Congress, what are¬†the plans for your first piece of legislation?”

Shambo:¬† “That’s an easy one, Harden.¬† We’re going to abolish the position of Vice President.¬† These guys have been an embarrassment to America for too long.¬† Spiro Agnew, Dan Quayle, Joe Biden – I wouldn’t leave my pet goat alone with these guys without issuing them condoms.”¬†

Reporter:¬† “I noticed you omitted Dick Cheney from your list.¬† Do you think he was a good VP?”

Shambo:¬† “Correction Harden.¬† Dick Cheney was never the Vice President.¬† Cheney held the office of “Prince-of-Darkness”.¬† It was a new cabinet post created by the last Bush administration¬†- perhaps you missed it.¬† Cheney’s job was to scare the crap out of Islamic terrorists.¬† Apparently he was successful because,¬†during his time in office, there was an extreme shortage of virgins in Paradise.”

Reporter:¬† “Mr. Shambo, Pepe Roni, Spanish Herald Tribune.¬† What is your position on illegal ¬†immigration?”

Shambo:¬† “Written on the Statue of Liberty are the words “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses”.¬† These words¬†may be¬†on the Statue, but they are not in the Constitution.¬† You do realize Pepi, that the Statue was a gift from France, don’t you?¬†¬†That fact¬†speaks volumes.¬† Yes, I am a great supporter of illegal immigration – to France.”

Reporter:¬† “Mr. Shambo, Dick Wahd, New York News.¬† Please tell us you are not going to eliminate¬†some of our social programs !”

Shambo:¬†¬†“Of course not Dick.¬† We’re going to eliminate all of them.¬† And the money we save on giving away money to people who don’t work, we can use to fight the biggest threat to our freedom today.”

Reporter:¬† “And what would that be, Mr. Shambo?”

Shambo:¬† “Reality shows, Dick.¬† Our research has shown that reality shows are the leading cause¬†of our citizens sticking their head up their ass.¬† My personal opinion is that the view – up there – is a damn-site more interesting than what you can¬†find on any reality show.”

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo

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