Biggest whiners in pro sports

May 15th
Posted by shambo  as Baseball, Culture, Football, Golf, Nascar

Tiger Woods - master whiner

Let me say this about that.

whine:¬† [hwahyn, wahyn] – verb. To utter, in a nasal tone, unfounded complaints.¬† To snivel in a peevish and self-pitying way.¬† To¬†accuse, without basis,¬†someone else for one’s own self-created problems.

They have been with us all our lives – WHINERS.¬† In grammar school there was always some kid who complained: “…. somebody pushed me …. the dog ate my homework …. he doesn’t play fair …. she’s the teacher’s pet”.¬† When you became an adult, there was always someone in the office complaining: “…. I didn’t get the promotion because of office politics …. she slept her way to the top …. he’s a brown-noser …. he got promoted because he’s a minority”.

But, let me set you straight folks, and this is the truest thing you will ever hear.¬† There are no bigger whiners anywhere¬†than in professional sports.¬† If you are looking for a tried and true formula in pro sports¬†it looks something like this:¬†¬† “The bigger the income and the lower the IQ, the bigger the whiner”.

Next to pro athletes, Charlie Sheen looks like…¬†¬†¬† John Wayne.¬† One would think that pro athletes, with their big bucks, adoring fans, and hot trophy wives would be the happiest people on Earth.¬† But noooooooo.¬† They have all kinds of problems and it’s somebody else’s fault.¬† Let me take this opportunity to point out some of the most culpable.

Barry Bonds:¬† I don’t mean to pick on a guy¬†who is so lame that he escorted himself into irrelevancy, but screw him – he’s a whiner.¬† No one would argue that Bonds was a great hitter …. perhaps just a mediocre all-around baseball ‘player’, but unquestionably a great hitter.¬† But, Mr. Bonds was not happy with zillions of dollars, a good looking wife and a great looking girlfriend, he wanted to make history.¬† He watched on the sidelines¬†as Mark McGuire and Sammy Sosa chased the single season home run record that he wanted for himself.¬† To kick things up a notch, and in the opinion of most baseball fans, he started taking steroids and human growth hormones.¬†¬†After a couple of years of juicing, the man’s head looked like a freakin’ jack-o-lantern.¬†Yet Bonds continued to deny he was taking steroids.¬† When he was caught being injected by a trainer in the locker room, he claimed he didn’t know what was in the needle.¬† QUESTION:¬† Would you let a¬†‘gym rat’ inject something into your veins without knowing what it was?¬†

Bond’s got caught – was indicted for lying to a Grand Jury about it – and blamed someone else.¬† Barry Bonds – forget the Hall-of-Fame.¬† You’ll always be remembered as a WHINER.

Terrell Owens:¬† You can always tell a narcissistic gas bag when he refers to himself in the third person.¬† Terrell Owens never refers to himself as “I” – it¬†is always “T. O.”¬†¬† T.O. do this, T.O. gonna do dat, T.O. da man.¬† Wasn’t it Owens that was quoted as saying¬†during a contract¬†negotiation: “I can’t feed my family on $9 million”¬†?¬† Experts disagree on the quote, but it would be classic Owens.¬† The man¬†is a self-made lighting rod because he cannot shut up.¬† And when faults¬†are pointed out, predictably, he blames the coaches, the referees, the owners, his fellow players, the press, and anyone else¬†who pops into his pea-sized brain.¬† There is no question about the validity of one of his most famous quotes: “I feel like football players are overworked and underpaid compared to any other sports”.¬† Well, how about compared to someone like, oh, say …. a SOLDIER …. you egocentric punk?

Now playing for the Cincinnati Bengals, Owens was quoted by the Kansan City Star as blaming the 2010 Bengals dismal¬†4 – 12 season on “under-performing coaches”.¬† My opinion: “T.O. be a WHINER !!!”

Dale Earnhardt, Jr.:¬† I’ll confess it may be insensitive¬†to point out the faults of someone who is so¬†dimwitted that he¬†speaks like the dialogue coach for the “Beverly Hillbillies”. “Little E”, as he is affectionately called by his fans, is the poster boy for today’s upcoming crop of new-age whiners.¬† Out of the last 100+ plus NASCAR Sprint Cup races, Earnhardt Jr. has won exactly (wait – let me¬†count them up¬†quickly) ZERO races.¬† The fact that he¬†has been selected the most popular driver in NASCAR for 8 years in a row simply proves incest is still a problem in the deep south.¬† While¬†driving for¬†Earnhardt Racing (a team previously¬†owned by his late father) he blamed his lack of success on the new owners.¬† When he switched to a new racing team, he blamed¬†his losses¬†on his car, then his crew chief.¬† When his car and crew chief were changed, he blamed¬†failings on the new crew chief.¬† Now he has yet another new crew chief (his 4th in 5 years) a new car, a new crew, and he still hasn’t won a race.¬† After another one of his recent poor performances, a reporter asked him about it.¬† He articulated his response in the most intellectual language at his disposal: “I don’t give a sh*t!”¬† Ahhh, the eloquence of ‘Little E’.

Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Рmost popular driver - icon of the South Рrole model for youth Рand big ass WHINER!

Roger Clemens:¬† Oh, we’re getting into some major league whiners now.¬† Clemens may be the worst kind, if you believe, like many others,¬†that he faked injury when his pitching went to hell.¬† Evidence?¬† You decide:¬† 1999 ALCS Game #2,¬† Clemens gives up five runs in the first inning before leaving with claims of a ‘bad back’ ….¬† 2001 ALDS Game #1,¬†after giving up two home runs, Clemens leaves the game with a ‘pulled hamstring’ …. 2003 ALCS Game #7, Clemens gives up four runs, including a home run before leaving the game with yet another ‘ham string pull’ …. 2005 World series Game #1, Clemens gives up three runs in two innings before leaving the game with ‘leg problems’.¬† Roger will never admit to a poor performance – his problems are always because of injury.¬† Perhaps his upcoming trial for lying to Congress about steroid use will¬†give him¬†a chance to¬†prove he was a great pitcher with injuries that only¬†appeared when he pitched poorly.¬†

Roger Clemens – Mr. Roger (‘I don’t feel well’) Clemens, future Hall-of-Fame¬†WHINER.

Tiger Woods:¬† Never has an athlete with so much talent, with such bad judgement, with such a propensity for lying, with such a giant ego, with such a giant fortune, had to resort to faking injury to account for poor performance.¬† Proving an athlete is faking an injury is almost impossible.¬† Poor ‘ol sports fans¬†like us¬†can only use our common sense to determine is something is awry.¬† Ponder recent ‘injuries’ sustained by Tiger Woods ….. Achilles tendon – bad knee – bulging disc – leg pain – calf cramps – neck injury.¬† What I find interesting is that NONE of these ailments are obvious to the casual observer.¬† In other words,¬†there are no outwardly observable signs of proof.¬† We only have the word of a guy who has proven to be one of the world’s most talented liars.¬† And secondly, Woods never seemed to have any of these injuries before he got caught playing ‘hide-the-sausage’ with half the hookers in Las Vegas.¬† Woods is too ego-maniacal to ever admit his game is slipping.¬† His problems are always due to factors beyond his control – injuries (sure they are), birds chirping while he is on the tee, airplanes flying over the course, cameramen snapping photos while he is playing, the press, his ex-wife, his dead daddy, the wind, lack of play, too much play, poor swing coaching, hookers going public, and on and on and on.¬† We’ve heard them all at one time or another.¬†Is there nothing that happens on the planet Earth that doesn’t impede poor Tiger’s play?¬† His plan seems to be to convince his¬†fans, who are not much brighter than those of Dale Earnhardt, Jr., that¬†his main problems¬†are due to injuries that have a convenient way of appearing on-demand.

Tiger Woods, I ain’t buying it.¬† You may never win another ‘Major”,¬†but in my book, you’ll always be a¬†Major WHINER.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo

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