Proof of a higher power

Aug 8th
Posted by shambo  as Current Events, Golf, Wives, Women

Let me say this about that.

I must admit that I am not a particularly religious guy.¬† To me, organized religion seems to be all¬†about forcing¬†narrow, single-minded¬†dogma down our throats.¬† Organized religion always takes the position that their particular¬†credo is correct, and all other beliefs are corrupt.¬† But one thing they all have in common is the belief in a “Higher Power”. Lack of any physical evidence of this “Higher Power” does not seem to deter the¬†believers of any organized religion, although it is one of the many things that keep me from ‘signing-up’.

That is until this past Sunday when I had an experience that convinced me of the existence of a “Higher Power”. How, I reasoned, could an event such as this take place without the intervention of a ‘Supreme Being’? How could such a series of seemingly unrelated occurrences align themselves¬†perfectly to provide an outcome so sublimely ethereal without the guidance of a Grand Master?

Let me explain.

Everyone on the planet is familiar with the saga of Tiger Woods.¬† Woods is – or was – one of the premier golf talents in the world.¬† As it turns out, he is also one of the world’s great liars.¬† He has¬†replaced Bill Clinton¬†as the¬†preeminent narcissist in America.¬† As for temperament, it has been said that if there were a personality contest between Tiger Woods and a ‘Pet Rock’,¬†¬† there would not be a winner.¬† In short, there is not a lot ‘good’ to say about the guy.¬† Yet he has had great financial success playing a game for a living, and nothing bad ever seems to¬†happen to this man.¬† In layman’s terms – “It just ain’t fair”.

All that changed on November 30, 2009.¬† That is the night that Wood’s wife found proof that he had been having an extramarital affair and beat the crap out of him with a 7-iron.¬† As more news came to light, it was discovered that Woods was living a secret life as one of the world’s great “Hound-Dogs” and was playing ‘hide-the-sausage’ with every floozy¬†that could fog a mirror.

In an apparent attempt to avoid losing hundreds of millions of dollars in a divorce settlement, Woods claimed he had contracted a condition known as “sexual addiction’ and could not be held any more responsible for his actions than a crack addict. ¬†The poor man was ‘ill’ and checked himself into a “sexual addiction” clinic.¬† While most of¬†Woods fans actually bought this incredible prevarication, his wife contended that he might as well check into a clinic to cure hiccups – and that it was, indeed, Woods’ fondness for ‘cracks’ that got him into trouble in the first place.

Soon, Woods’ sponsors began abandoning him like he had open sores.¬† His coverage in the media went from adulation to condemnation.¬† His wife was granted a divorce, custody of the kids and a whopping nine figure settlement.¬† And, each week brought¬†more testimony from a new blond-headed bimbo about Tiger’s prowess in the sack, or the dimension of Tiger’s Tool, or Tiger’s insatiable appetites, or whatever.¬† But, worst of all, he could not take time to play in any golf tournaments.

Finally after a return to play¬†in the 2010 masters, Woods career as a golf professional could only be characterized as “lackluster”.¬† It got so bad that during the 2011 Players Championship this past May, Woods just finally gave up and withdrew from play for three months – claiming injury.¬† Apparently whatever was injured did not require a return visit to the sexual addiction clinic.

On the third of July, of this year, Wood’s held a meeting with his caddie of thirteen years, Steve Williams, and fired him …. fired him as unceremoniously as he had done with his¬†two previous (world class) coaches, Butch Harmon and Hank Haney.

Big surprise to Williams, but he soon found a permanent job carrying the bag for up-and-coming young pro, Adam Scott.¬†¬† This week, Steve Williams and Adam Scott¬†(only one week after Woods announced that he had fired Steve Williams)¬†teamed up¬†to win the ‘Bridgestone Invitational’. Williams collected $140,000 for his caddie’s share of the $1.4 million winners purse.¬† ¬†Tiger Woods finished in 37th place to earn winnings of only¬†$58,500 !!!!!

Tiger Woods can’t even make as much money as the caddie he just fired?!?!¬† ¬†Now, how can anyone now deny the existence of a “Higher Power”? Yes Virginia, there is a God.

And, that’s all I have to say about that.

Shambo

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