Let me say this about that.

What is it about getting drunk that makes a guy fearless?  You can take a normal, rational human being, administer a six-pack of Budweiser, and all of a sudden you’ve got Attila-the-Hun wanting to kick your ass.  It’s like some magic formula that turns Dr. Jekyll into Mr. Hyde.

It’s not the same with women.  Get a woman a little buzzed and she gets all warm and fuzzy.  But if you want to see a real transition along the lines of the aforementioned Dr. Jekyll / Mr. Hyde scenario, get her really drunk.  I don’t know why, but when women get drunk, their pants must catch on fire because they can’t wait to get out of them.  Goodbye inhibition (and ‘good riddance’ as far as guys are concerned).

But with guys, getting drunk not only causes the dissipation of fear, it is also accompanied by the depletion of caution, rationality, judgement, logic, reason, and good common sense.  I know from where I speak, dear readers, because I have been down that dark road.  Let me give you an example:

My buddy Herb and I had stopped by a local tavern for a couple of ‘barley-pops’ after work.  It was a normal after-work thing to do.  Our intention, as always, was…    (more…)

Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski

Let me say this about that.

“Ah-hem.  Ladies and gentlemen, please take your seats.”

“We appreciate you coming here on such short notice, but we have an announcement to make that could shake the very foundation of college basketball.  In their overtime defeat of Rhode Island University, the North Carolina Tar Heels have advanced to the finals of the NIT basketball championship game.  If victorious, North Carolina will become the only team – in the history of college basketball – to win the NCAA National Championship and the National Invitational Championship in back-to-back years.”

“Now, those of you who think this is GREAT news, you may applaud now.”

clap-clap-clap-clap-clap-clap

“Thank you.  Now those of you who think this is just ‘OK’ news, may now bend down and kiss your sister.”

smooch-smooch-smooch-smooch-smooch

“Thank you.  Now, all of you please form a line in front of our Star Trek Transporter Room, we will  try to get you back to the ‘Real World’ as soon as possible.”

This has been a strange season in college basketball - top ranked teams being upset – traditional powerhouse teams with losing records – coach firings by the dozen – and…    (more…)

Superhero

Let me say this about that.

Every year since 1948, the folks at Gallup Polls have conducted a survey to determine the people most admired by Americans.  The results of their latest poll was published recently in USA Today.  According to the good people at Gallup, Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin are in a virtual tie as the woman most admired by Americans.  That – dear readers – says a helluva lot more about the intelligence of the average American than it does about either lady….. but I digress.

Also, in a virtual tie for 3rd place are a daytime gossip show personality and some broad sleeping with a politician – Oprah Winfrey and Michelle Obama.  I can, maybe, understand Winfrey’s popularity, but “Admiration”?  Mother Teresa, you can roll over now.  As for Michelle Obama ………… quick – name three things this woman has ever done to inspire admiration.  Too hard?  OK, name ONE.

As for the guys, it’s no surprise that Barack Obama got 1st place, George Bush got 2nd, and Nelson Mandela placed 3rd.  Not necessarily my top 3 choices, but I can see a little more logic in these selections than in the women’s.  However, the really entertaining part of the most admired male poll was the tie for 4th place…    (more…)

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Let me say this about.

Anyone who tells you that writing a blog is hard work, probably works for the Postal Service.  Blog writing is actually quite simple and requires a bare minimum of tools.  Let’s see, you need a PC and you need a brain – probably explaining why postal workers believe it’s such hard work.  Most of the available ‘blog writers’ software packages’  come with a spell checker and a warning / suggestion alarm if you construct an incomplete sentence, so even a University of Alabama grad can do it.  I use a system from “Go Daddy”, not necessarily because they have the best system, but because I think Danica Patrick  has the finest little fanny I have ever seen. 

The system is incredibly easy to use – so simple that my dog, a Basset Hound named  ‘Beauregard’ , has started his own website.  The name of his website is “Bad Basset Bitches of Bayside Borough.com.”  Please forgive the crude title.  Beauregard gets a little randy occasionally.  He’s not neutered, you see.

If you check out the site, you have to sign a statement that attests that you are at least…    (more…)

Let me say this about that.

I have a number of old friends who are, as a lot, pretty positive on life.  They’re convinced that “the glass is half full” and seem to enjoy smelling the roses conveniently planted along the road of life.  They make lemonade out of any lemons that come their way, whistle-while-they-work, and enjoy singing the anthem of the optimist:  “Don’t Worry – Be Happy.”  In other words, they’re nothing like me.

This group of friends, with Mrs. Shambo counted among their number, have often accused me of being a pessimist.  This simply is not true.  A pessimist is a person who complains about the noise when opportunity knocks.  That’s just not me.  I’m a “realist”.  There is a difference.

And as a realist, I often reject the conventional wisdom with which I am bludgeoned daily.  Conventional wisdom, for example, would have one believe that drinking alcohol to excess is…    (more…)

America after oil

In the year 2057, the last of the oil, in any viable quantities, was pumped out of a small field in a remote region of Venezuela.  Venezuela had long since been invaded by a coalition force of Chinese and American military – before they turned on each other.  Although their weaponry was superior, the Americans were defeated due to the lack of refined gasoline to operate their mobile armaments.  The Chinese won the field with massive manpower and small arms, neither of which required petrol.  This advantage eventually turned on the Chinese as…    (more…)

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(Author’s note: this is part #2 of a 3 part miniseries on what life might be like when we run out of oil.)

Let me say this about that.

Part #1 of this series, what life might be like when we run out of oil in 40 or so years,  made one basic point.  That is apathy, greed and stupidity have already conspired to prevent us from putting into place technologies that can replace oil as the platform solution for the world’s energy needs.  Even a President Kennedy “NASA Moon Landing” type program – scaled to global proportions – would be inadequate, even if we started today.  We simply do not have sufficient time left to build enough nuclear power plants, wind turbines, solar power furnaces, hydroelectric dams, or ethanol refineries to totally replace the oil we currently use. 

“Get ready.  Life is gonna change.”

As oil wells begin to dry-up, the price of gas will become prohibitive for the average person.  Scant reserves will be allocated largely to…    (more…)

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(Author’s note: This is part #1 of a 3 part miniseries on what life might be like when we run out of oil)

Let me say this about that.

I was watching a TV program the other day on the Discovery Channel, or The Learning Channel, or one of those other  great escapes from mind-numbing network programming.  The program was a prognostication of what will happen when the world’s oil supply is depleted.  It was truly frightening. 

The most frightening aspect of this scenario is that the entire world, and the United States in particular, is totally oblivious to this eventuality – and – totally unprepared.  This educational program could has just as easily been called “The End of Life As We Know It”  or, in the worst case scenerio for some -“The End of Life – Period.” 

Most oil companies, OPEC, and oil experts agree that we have about 40 years of oil left in the ground.  This could possibly be…    (more…)

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Let me say this about that.

Joe Ratzinger was just a teenager living near the German – Austrian border when World War II broke out.  As a German citizen, he joined the Hitler Youth organization in 1941 and eventually served in the German Army as an anti-aircraft gunner.  Later, he was given the job of planting tank mines in Hungary.

Today, Joe claims that he never agreed with any of the Nazi doctrine, even though there is scant evidence that he actively rebelled against it.  Indeed, his position on the subject seems quite accommodating, given his membership in the Hitler Youth organization and the German Army. 

Ratzinger supports his claim of dissent by pointing out the fact that he deserted from the German Army in 1945.  This seems to add some credibility to his stated position of Nazi dissent – until one finds out that…    (more…)

Michael Jackson - dead entrepreneur

Let me say this about that.

Every now and then, you hear of an Elvis Presley sighting.  I think the last one had him working as a “colonic technician” in a holistic wellness clinic in Reno.  Elvis gets around, so one never knows where he’s gonna pop-up next.  Elvis should however, take notice of  fellow dead guy,  Michael Jackson, who seems to be handling “the big dirt nap” much better than he is.  I say this because of an article I read in this morning’s Yellow Journal Gazette which reported on Jackson’s latest business venture.

According to “a person familiar with the deal” (this is another guy who really gets around – he is quoted in the newspaper almost every day), Sony Music Entertainment  has signed a contract with Jackson’s “Estate”  for $250,000,000 for a number of Jackson’s old, current, and future performances.  (Estate?  yeah, right.  Like we didn’t know Jacko isn’t pulling the strings himself from the great-beyond).  The $250 million deal is the largest contract ever signed in the music industry, far outpacing the paltry $150 million Live Nation Entertainment deal with Jay-Z  (whoever the hell Jay-Z  is).

Part of the deal is for the (surprise !!!)  ‘never-before-released‘ stuff someone has miraculously found behind the furnace in the basement of ‘Neverland Ranch’.  The deal also includes some…    (more…)