Let me say this about that.

I was in Key West recently because I had been called for jury duty in Federal Court.  Engineers usually are not popular choices as potential jurors because we have a tendency to employ a tool unknown in the legal profession – ‘Logic’.  Logic is like ‘Kryptonite’ to a lawyer.  Their view is that …. ‘since my client is guilty anyway, the only way I can get him off is to convince the stupid people on the jury that he only did it because he came from a broken home’ ……… or some other lame-ass excuse.  So when the jury was selected I was confident I would be dismissed as a ‘logic-nerd’ and sent home.  However, that position was ‘logical’ and the lawyers for both sides (illogically) agreed that I was to serve on the jury.

The trial was a criminal case involving the use of a deadly weapon in the distribution of narcotics and a host of associated crimes.  If convicted, the defendant could be sent to prison for…    (more…)

Picasso's "The Dream"

Let me say this about that.

I have met some pretty smart guys in my time.  I even used to think I was pretty smart until I got to know a few of these guys.  Smart people, like the fabulously wealthy – ‘are different from the rest of us’ – and operate on an elevated ceriberal plane that is intellectual ‘Shock and Awe’ to an average person like me.

When I say “Smart”, don’t confuse that term with intelligence.  Don’t confuse that term with educated ….. or astute, clever, savvy, intuitive or wise. ‘Smart’ is the confluence of many of these attributes, but also requires timing, speed, and above all else, ‘balls’. I have never met a really smart guy that did not have a set of ‘cojone’s’ the size of  watermelons.  Case-in-point:

When I graduated from college in 1969, I got a job with an aerospace company in Cape Canaveral working on the Apollo program.  I was young, broke, inexperienced, and basically did not know my ass from a hole-in-the-ground when it came to surviving in a corporate environment …. none of which, I reasoned, was cause not to be optimistic about my future.  But it didn’t take long for me to realize that I was in WAY over my head.  I needed…    (more…)

Let me say this about that.

Like most guys, I believe real “spousal communication” is an oxymoron.  No matter how hard a guy tries, he is never really successful in achieving true communication with his wife.  Why you ask?  Because of the “wife-filter”. 

Whenever a guy says something to his wife, it goes into her ears and straight to the “wife-filter”.  Only after a great deal of manipulation in the filter, is the husband’s communication sent to her brain.

What actually happens in the “wife-filter”?  First of all, the exact details are as shrouded in mystery and complexity as the “Internal Revenue Code of 1986″.  However, the scientists at the ‘Pointless Institute for Spousal Communication’ have informed me they believe progress is being made in deciphering the workings of the “wife-filter”.  Let me pass on the results of their latest…    (more…)

Life lesson # 1

Let me say this about that.

Did you ever try to teach anything to a ten year-old boy? (you granddads out there can chime in any time).  I’ve tried it a few times, but I gotta tell ya, it’s completely beyond my skill set.  Oh, it’s not that I lack the education – I’ve done my time in Harvard grad school,  but the challenges one faces when trying to teach 10-year olds requires all lot more than a traditional education.  It can be exasperating.  I believe the ability to refrain from commiting murder when it is perfectly justified is a prerequisite skill.

First of all, you are dealing with a flawed and largley blank canvas when dealing with a 10-year old boy.  What have they learned so far in life?  Let’s see: boogers don’t taste so bad, farts are the funniest thing in the world, girls are much yuckier than frogs, and it is impossible to pee without spraying everything within a five foot radius – that about sums it up.

And, thus began the lessons in manhood for 10-year old Henry.  His Mom & Dad were off on a weekend trip and they had left Henry in my custody.  And, so it occurred to me, that initiating the ‘lessons-of-life’ for young Master Henry was just the job for…    (more…)

Goliath after meeting David

Let me say this about that.

“People say believe half of what you see, oh and none of what you hear …. “

This line is lifted from the 70′s Gladys Knight & the Pips hit “I heard it through the grapevine”.  And in today’s blizzard of communication media spawned by the internet, truer words have never been spoken.

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail today that contained an article and photographs of an archeological dig in Greece that contained skeletal remains of a human species of giants.  The person that originated the e-mail presented it as photographic evidence that the Old Testament of the Bible should be interpreted literally.  More specifically, that David actually slew (is that a word?) Goliath, who apparently was a member of this tribe of giants.

Being the skeptic that I am, I researched the story through “snoops.com”, a web site that verifies the validity of stuff that gets dumped onto the internet.  And yes, the photos were digitally altered.  As it turns out…    (more…)

Too slow

Let me say this about that.

I enjoy sports.   My favorites are at the college level, especially baseball and football.  I also enjoy a broad range of other sports on a selective basis when it involves a classic event.  I’m not a die-hard fan of any of these sports but I do watch special events like the Kentucky Derby, the Indianapolis 500, the Super Bowl, the World Series, and the Masters. 

One thing I have learned is that some of these sports can only be enjoyed with the aid of TiVo.  Golf, for instance.  Golf is such a slow game that it requires the players to take a break halfway through the match so the grass can be mowed.  It’s excruciatingly, interminably, monotonously, tediously, immutably slow.  It’s like watching…    (more…)

 Let me say this about that.

I think many (if not most) Americans have pretty much had-it with our current political system.  Whatever the Democrats and Republicans are doing in Washington sure as hell is not about helping me.  My view is that if the entire Congress would just go home and find a job mowing lawns, we would all be better off (except maybe a couple of hundred Mexicans).  The “Two-Party System”  is hopelessly broken and worse, is hopelessly irreparable.  If you have not figured it out already, I hate both political parties.  We need something new.  We need something that works.  We need real leadership.  In summary, we need a totally new political party. 

New political parties have been tried a few times in the past.  The “Green Party“ touted environmental issues.  Then there was the “Libertarian Party”  whose position I was never quiet able to decipher.  Ross Perot founded the “Reform Party“ which was sort of a mini-Republican party on steroids. 

Currently, there is the new “Tea Party”  which is a little more centrist-oriented than some of the earlier attempts, but lacks a real leader or spokesman.  It appears to me that the ‘acting-leader’ of this party is Sarah Palin, but for no other reason than she has a great pair of tits.  However, in today’s world of organized political parties, this is a rare example of logic. 

Political leadership in America

I kinda like all the new political parties, but not for any particular ideological reason.  I like them because they continually pick at the scab that covers the puss-filled world of a Congress made up of Democrats and Republicans.  However, try as they might, no new political party has ever gained sufficient clout to be a real power in the United States.  I think the reason is that they have not addressed the real issues in America, have not expressed the real problems in “non-politically correct terms” , and have not embraced ‘Common Sense’ as a fundamental platform.  Therefore, in order to remedy this shortcoming…    (more…)

Let me say this about that.

Announcer:  “Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the finals of the 2010 ‘He said – She said’ competition.  This competition pits the best and brightest of each gender in a match of witticisms, quips and comebacks.  Each of the preliminary rounds featured one male and one female going head-to-head in a verbal battle to the death.  And at last, we have the two finalists ready to square off for the championship.”

“And now, representing the male of the species, and the ‘He Said’ team, please welcome Holden D. Cox!! “

“Representing the girls from the ‘She Said’ team, give it up for Anita Moorehead!!”

“OK, the ‘He Said’ team has won the coin toss so Holden will go first.  Holden, the first category topic is…    (more…)

 Let me say this about that.

Raising kids is hard work.  That is precisely why I never had any.  But apparently that hasn’t stopped the rest of America.  For the 40 year old and younger generations, the decision to have kids is done with the same forethought as buying a pair of St. Bernards as pets to share their one-bedroom apartment.

But as poorly prepared to bring kids into the world as today’s parents are, their ability to raise them to maturity is nothing short of pathetic.  Today’s parents have developed a sort of perverted philosophy of raising children based on life as it might be lived in Disneyland.  In this fairytale world, every kid is a winner – every kid is “special” – every kid is the best – every kid is a success – every kid is, in short, a little angel who can do no wrong.  Kids are never punished for wrong doing - they are given “time-outs”. 

If you don’t believe today’s kids are being raised in a sugar-coated, “everything is beautiful” world,  go to a…    (more…)